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A Mastiff's parents will never visit you.
A Mastiff loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
A Mastiff limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
A Mastiff never expects you to telephone.
A Mastiff will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
A Mastiff does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
A Mastiff does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.
A Mastiff never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
The later you are, the happier a Mastiff is to see you.
A Mastiff does not shop.
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